I have always thought about being a gestational carrier but I wasn't sure if I could do it. By the way, a gestational carrier is basicly an incubator for another couple's embryo. I would love to help a couple have a baby but I didn't know if I could carry a baby for 9 mos and then hand he/her over to her parents. On and off for years the thought would rarely come up but I didn't think much of it because I thought I wouldn't be able to do it. I have 4 kids of my own and love being a mother. After my son's 1st birthday two years ago the thought came up again. But this time it lingered. I thought about how much it meant for me to be a mom and couldn't imagine not having my kids in my life. I had really easy pregnancies and deliveries with my kids and I would love to help someone to have the same joy of children of their own.
A year after I really started considering it I finally decided this was something I wanted to do. I contacted a friend from high school that worked for a fertility Dr in San Diego and she referred me to an agency. I called the agency to ask a ton of questions and they were so nice and helpful. I really wasn't sure if they would take me as an applicant because I didn't want seledtive reduction to be an option for me. They said it wasn't a problem. I might take longer to get picked because they have a lot of applicants that don't have that restriction on their profile but that I should apply if I didn't mind having to have a longer wait. I was fine with that. I figured if it was meant to be then it would happen. I applied in May and decided I would leave my profile with the agency for a year. If I didn't get picked that was fine. I would just put myself out there and see. The profile was practically a novel I had to write about me and my family. My husband even had a set of papers he had to fill out about me and his feeling about me being a gestational carrier. We had to turn in family pictures and pictures of me alone. It was a lot of information but I would expect any less for such a personal experience. I would want to know eveything I could about a person that might carry my baby.
On October 4th I received a phone call from the agency telling me a couple was interested in my profile. They had some extra questions they wanted answered to see if I was a good fit for them. They wanted to know if I would avoid caffiene during the pregnancy, which was fine as I only drink soda occasionally anyway. They had a couple more questions but I'm totally blank what they were right now. :( I was a little shocked that there was a couple considering me and really excited that this might actually happen. My case manager from the agency said she thought the couple would like my answers and would let me know later.
Almost a week went by and on October 10th she called me back and said the couple loved my answers and wanted to schedule a phone call to "meet" me. Normally we would meet in person to see if we all click but this particular couple is in London and we would need to "meet" over the phone first. My case manager appologized for the short notice and told me that they wanted to schedule the phone call for the next afternoon. I told her that would be fine and hung up excited and nervous. I hoped they liked me enough to pick me. I was so nervous the next day to talk to them. The day totally dragged by. Finally the time came for me to call into the conference line. The case manager and IM (intended mother) were on the phone. I thought it was going to be a really awkward conversation but it was pretty smooth. The IM told me a little about her fertility situation and complimented me and my family about our profile. She asked if I was willing to carry twins. I thought that was so ironic because when I told my girls about me doing this they were very excited and told me they wanted me to have twins for her. She asked if I really could carry her babies and then give them to her. I told her that I felt that it was just extended babysitting and that they were her babies so yes. She loved that and was very excited about everything we talked about. She seemed so nice and friendly and was ready to get her family started. I wasn't sure if I was trying to get her to pick me or she was trying to get me to say yes to her but we both seemed to pick each other during that call.
I talked to my husband that night and we were both happy with everything the IM said and I called the agency the next day to tell them I was happy to be matched with this couple. They sent me papers from the lawyer I was assigned and a health insurrance application I needed to apply for that day. The papers from the lawyer just stated that the couple agreed to pay for me to have a lawyer and that even though they were paying my lawyer would do what was in my best interest. That all happened Oct 12th. Now I just had to wait for my next cycle to start so I could see the fertility Dr to get all the screening done.
A little over a week later I started my cycle and they scheduled me for my screening appointment one week and two days later. I also had to make an appointment to see a therapist for a phych evaluation and a couple's session with my husband. We saw the therapist on Oct 29th and it was a nice meeting. She went over some of the questions couple's tend to have and explained to us that she wan't evaluating us to see if we were a good match. She was our advocate and was there to make sure we understood what we were doing and how we felt about all of it. I had to take a phych evaluation which was very interesting. There were about 400 questions and they were so weird. I'm curious what my results will tell me about myself. lol.
Today, Oct 31st we met our case manager at the fertility dr. I was pretty nervous because they were going to take pictures of the inside of uterus. They told me it could cause some cramping and to take 600-800mg of Ibuprofin an hour before my appointment. Ugh. I totally thought it was going to be really not fun and was not excited for it. But I knew it was just the start of being a science experienment and it wouldn't be the end of the world. The Dr was totally great! He took the three of us, the case manager, my hubby and I, into his office and recorded my family health history and personal fertility history. He also explained everything he was going to do at this appointment and asked if we had an questions. After that he took me to an examination room and did a normal pap appointment and an internal ultrasound of my uterus and ovaries. Then they took me to the procedure room for the fun pictures I was silently dreading. The case manager, my husband, a nurse, a nurse practicioner and the Dr were all in the room. They set up a serile field around me and went to town with iodine. He expained that the camera would only be in for less than a min. It was slightly uncomfortable but I was surprised how easy it was. He said my uterus looked perfect and that I was good to go with my next cycle. I got dressed and my husband and I had to give urine samples and have a blood test. He explained that when I started my next cycle I would need to call to come in the next day for them to do an internal ultrasound to get a baseline of my uterine lining thickness. I would then start oral meds and see him a couple times for two weeks until the lining is thick enough. He is hoping to do the transfer around Dec 10th. He asked again if I had anymore questions and said he will be happy to get started soon. I did get some cramping after the procedure but it wasn't bad at all. After the appointment I emailed the IM and told her that everything went great and that I was excited to get started. She replied with lots of excitement and let me know that she and her hubby are trying to come to LA at the end of November or beginning of December and would like to go to dinner with us. The agency told us with the first phone calls that since they were an international couple they may not get to come to visit until later in the pregnancy or even close to the delivery. So it would be really cool to get to meet them in person that soon. Great day today and happy everything is falling into place.
